I could have called this post Why-Julia-Child-Would-Have-Good-Reason-To-Hate-Me Bourguignon but that’s nowhere near as catchy as Champignon Bourguignon. Please, say it out loud, or at least enthusiastically in your head, with your best/worst French accent: Champignon Bourguignon. Champignon Bourguignon. It’s especially fun when said with disgust, which I would guess is how most French people would say it. Champignon! Bourguignon! Non!
Let me detail out why Julia would tsk:
- I used frozen pearl onions. FROZEN!
- There is no beef!
- I lessened the amount of wine and it was not with the intent of leaving more for me to drink. French chef fail!
- This whole thing takes about an hour, not the epic 6 hours of the original.
- I crowded the mushrooms. I crowded them real bad.
- I repeated “champignon bourguignon” in my head in an absolutely terrible French accent the entire time I was making it.
- I used dried herbs!
- This could be an “easy weeknight meal” — WHAT? A bourguignon? NON!
- I kinda doubted her use of tomato paste (which I shouldn’t have)
- I don’t even OWN a string of pearls.
But before we get too discouraged, Julia would have one reason to like me a whole bunch: I’m pretty liberal with the butter.